My Experiences with Ignorance and Poverty and How our Effort Can Make a Change

When I was a child, sometimes our neighbors came to sake shelter in our house. She often came with her small children (2-5 of them). This happened from times to times because whenever her husband is drunk he would bit his wife cruelly and chase away their children. This usually happen in late of night. One day he ventured into our house to snatch his wife and children to his house in order to do whatever he pleased with them, but my mother and all my brothers and sisters stood up to protect poor women and her children. When I asked my elders to report this matter to the local authority, they told me that it is an in-house or family matter and nobody care for it. For many decades, in Vietnam, a country ruled by single communist party, who claim to promote gender justice along with total equal right in society, still there are no laws to protect victims of domestic violence.
When I grew bigger, I come to know that there are many cases of domestic violence and rape (often incest’s), but nobody talked about this matter publicly. It is considered as a shame, therefore the people who involved (most of the victims are women and children) keep silent, and the result are many of them either committed suicide or become mentally disable or suffered depression for many years. I felt so helpless in such a society and culture. Just in 2008 Vietnamese government made some effort to bring this matter to discuss at their parliament and eventually, some law were issued to punish the perpetrators and have some measure to protect the victims. This has nothing to do with Buddhism, because the context I experienced was a non-Buddhist territorial.
In a conference on the theme of domestic violence held in Bangkok in March 2007, I came to know that there are estimate 3.000 to 5.000 Vietnamese young girls were sold every year through the borders to Cambodia or China to become child-prostitutes. When I met a victim of 14 years old in Bangkok (she was rescued from a brothel where more then 100 children from different countries were kept, by a Thai woman social worker) She told me that her parents who lived in Cambodia had sold her to a man with only 200 US$! As I knew further through other sources, there are about 10.000 to 20.000 Vietnamese young women were made marriage to foreigners (mostly to Taiwan, Korean and Malaysian) every year, and sadly most of them become sex-slaves in their estrange husbands’ houses. Each case of marriages as above, the family of the poor woman gets about 200 to 1000 US$. This is how young girls and young women from poorest areas of the world sacrifice themselves for the benefit of their family.
The number I cited above are only estimate, because there are no formal and legal investigation were authorized by the local government. It is noteworthy that young girls and women are sold or deceived to go to other countries for a job, are from rural provinces where Theravada Buddhism or non-religion is prevalence. Most of them are totally ignorant about sex industry and their fate. When I asked some monks from these areas to give religious talks concerning these problems, they appeared very uncomfortable at my idea and the information I gave them. And they told me: “it is their Karma (i.e., fate in this context), we have nothing to do with that.” At that point, I felt some indignant at Buddhist monks who supposed to be compassionate and caring persons. I started thought of making Buddhist nuns (Bhikkhuni) more involved in this matter. This works better. Many nuns feel concerned and indeed, many nuns’ monasteries in Vietnam have become havens to destitute, especially to poor women and girls. I tried to get more nuns involved and encourage them to go to rural areas to establish Buddhist centre as an educational centre to help poor and uneducated people there to live a better life. Unfortunately, this were obstructed by the very Buddhist administers in the only legal Buddhist organization in Vietnam. I my self went to some rural areas in Hatinh, Nghe An and Hagiang provinces, got in touch with some of the women association in these areas, give religious talk and distributed booklets concerning the welfare and happiness of individuals and of family and society in general. This is just an individual effort, but fortunately, I was welcomed by the local people and community’s administrators. I wish we can do this in a more organized way, especially concerning financial and spiritual support.

In 2007, a layman from Malaysia asked us: “What can you, Bhikkhunis, do for us?” At first, many Bhikkhunis around me were puzzled! His question becomes a Koan (a subject to contemplate upon) to me for years, especially concerning domestic violence. Most of the perpetrators are husbands or fathers, what can I tell them not to use violent means to get his wife or children to obey to his will? What can I do to change a cultural context where husbands have the right to do whatever they pleased with their wives and children? This is a very crucial point because unless we get men to be aware of the evil consequences of their violent actions, they would just act out their impulses. Sadly, there is no organization or institution in South East Asian (SEA) gives a formal education to men as concern to the standard of moral relationship. Most of the people who come to listen to religious talks in Temple or Churches are elderly women.
Last year, some of my Buddhist friends in Kula Lumpur, Malaysia reported that they have organized pre-marriage courses based on Buddhist valuation of a moral & happy marriage life. I felt thrilled and on my part, I edited a very important Buddhist text on social relationships, namely: Singalovada Suttra, the Discourse to Singala (DN) to publish for free distribution in Vietnam. This works very well, as soon after the books come to the readers, many report to me that it helps them a lot in understanding their responsibilities toward family as well as to society. Some men even say that if they knew this discourse earlier, they would have not committed many mistakes or sins in their lives.